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hey uhhhh im inactive
"hi inactive im dad"
im just sooooo busy lately
i started driver training to i dont get home till like 7 every day
and after eating and homework i cant find the energy to do digital art lmao
i still draw a lot traditionally
its just finals soon and a bitch is stressed
so i might get more active during may long or the summer depends on my mood
but uh pls dont unwatch 
i need to vent for the first time in months
but my irl friends r tired of hearing about this shit
so  im gonna  🎶 overshare on the internet 🎶
so bbbasically
that Boy
the one i liked
made it seem very apparent he liked me back and had for a while
and like
we were going on dates we had so much in common like too much in common like he seemed way too perfect
and then he just out of nowhere
"doesn't like me the way i like him and doesn't wanna lead me on" 
i literally didnt do SHIT to this boy
i kept my distance and gave him space but still let him know i liked him
now he insists i did nothing wrong
but anyone with half a brain cell knows i fuck everything up
so i got to thinking
either he lied and didnt like me the whole time and did everything bc he felt like he had to and one day decided he didn't wanna deal with it anymore
OR alternately i did something and he doesn't wanna tell me bc he's too nice
(or he liked me and then just stopped but??? i find it very unlikely thatd happen in less than a month???)
that's the problem here
hes too nice
i can't hate him
because he did nothing wrong.
but i certainly dont like him and cant just be his friend
but i also cant glare at him in the halls and badmouth him to my friends
and i try to be casual but we all know i dont have any chill
so i just end up tearing up whenever i have to interact with him
and like heres the thing
we went on two (2) dates it isnt like i just ended a long term relationship 
and im not even that sad that it happened
im just sad i wasted his time 
got rejected whats new still unlovable lmao
@ every person making these "[cheesy love song] driving in the rain" or "[upbeat love song] in the bathroom of a party" are yall trying to kill me???????????????????? for real??? im in tears half of these edits aren't even good but im crying bless u 
im bored and need a distraction so i dont lose my shit on my parents rn so we're doin a long ass meme lads

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1.) finish writing one of my unfinished songs
2.) be completely happy with myself
3.) 
Three Names You Go By:
1.) jorja
2.) jj
3.) stupid bitch
Three Screen Names You Have Had:
1.) sun-sheep
2.) jorjalola
3.) salmonsoda 
Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself:
1.) my eyes
2.) my hair texture
3.) my face shape
Three Parts Of Your Heritage:
1.) romanian
2.) irish
3.) probably german somewhere i dont fuckin know im just super white
Three Things That Scare You:
1.) death
2.) spiders
3.) loud noises
Three Of Your Everyday Essentials:
1.) mascara
2.) tea
3.) the collection of weird diy shit i use to fill my eyebrows in
Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1.) a grey sweatshirt
2.) shorts that dot fit me bc my legs too fuckin big
3.) a hair tie (??)
Three Of Your Favorite Bands/Musical Artists:
1.) say hi
2.) cavetown
3.) tv girl
Three Of Your Favorite Songs:
1.) 888 by cavetown
2.) disloyal order of water buffaloes by fall out boy
3.) all the pretty ones by say hi 
Three Things You Want In A Relationship:
1.) trust
2.) the genuine ability to have a nice conversation
3.) them to be able to put up with my sappy cheesy ass giving them too many compliments 
Two Truths And A Lie (in no particular order): (comment which one 1 u think is the lie)
1.) by the time im married i will have 5 last names including middle names
2.) i have a pet snake
3.) i was born on fathers day
Three Of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1.) drawing
2.) writing
3.) photography 
Three Things You Want To Do Really Badly Right Now:
1.) draw portraits but im too lazy also no 1 will let me draw them 
2.) do my makeup 
3.) talk to someone anyone not that im lonely but ive only talked to my drunk parents all day 
Three Careers You're Considering/You've Considered:
1.) a vet when i was really little
2.) a stylist
3.) a psychologist which ive now pretty much decided on or at least something in that department 
Three Places You Want To Go On Vacation:
1.) italy
2.) romania
3.) one of those tropical places either one just somewhere WARM
Three Kid's Names You Like:
1.) Briar
2.) Salem
3.) Dimitri 
Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Girl:(no sexism im going off stereotypes dont kill me)
1.) i like doing my makeup 
2.) i like pink fight me
3.) i care too much about my physical appearance 
Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Boy:
1.) i dont brush my hair enough
2.) baggy clothes
3.) i used to play video games and not to b a 2010 gamer girl but i will fucking demolish anyone at mario kart
💕💕💕[i made another speedpaint ]💕💕💕
so i told that guy i liked him and????????????????? he felt the same????????????????????
and we got coffee yesterday and talked for like 3 hours????????????????????
aahhhhh?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
how do i tell a boy i wanna date him
im serious
i dont fucking know
i just wanna hold HIS HAND
CANT I JUST HAVE THAT
someone tell me before i make a stupid impulse descision   
so uh
in light of something that happened to me recently
just a gentle reminder
girls are... not obligated.. to like u back.. weird right??
not even just girls like if someone doesn't like you that isnt.. their fault
like this guy i didn't know messaged me and was like "hey wanna be friends" and i was like sure??? i guess???
and this guy
this GUY
holy fuck
he told me he had no friends then proceeded to let me know the two creepy guys whod hit on me the previous month are "his best friends" so like thatssss great
also after knowing me like 3 days asked me to go like everywhere with him and anytime id say no hed ask again
so when i decided this was Too Much and like didnt wanna deal with it i just casually mentioned i like someone else tried being chill no harm done
and YALL
the NEXT DAY
"im pissed off and depressed today" who could've guessed
and he went over the typical "oh its not you fault im so weird and sad and depessed" like fuck right off that shit is so manipulative
also he just assumed i thought it was my fault
like as someone who knows how it feels to be rejected i try to be as sweet as possible about it
but if you're gonna lie and try to manipulate people into dating you dont even bother talking to me like wtf
i dont care what you think of halsey no one can deny roman holiday was a truly underrated bop 
im so fucking sick 
i fucking hate my immune system
what the fuck
fuck
i hate this
my nose is a fucking waterfall 
my throat is the desert
sssssomeone is involving me in their drama
people r gross
yuck
is human by dodie clark....
ya girl is grinning like such an idiot
im so 
happy?????????????
i talked! to a guy! i like!
it went well what a surprise im just
ahahahahah im so happy and my journals are always so negative
so i figured id write a positive one
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
❤︎❤︎❤︎[i have a speedpaint up i might start making them more i might not idk but watch it]❤︎❤︎❤︎
so i was at chuck e cheese today
as you do 2 days before finals
and i was in a competition with my brother to see who get the most tickets because we're literally toddlers
and i went up to one of those price is right looking wheel machines
and i shit you not the wheel landed right on the 50 ticket sign
and what happened next??????????
not ONE FUCKING TICKET CAME OUT
not only was i served cheap food
forced to sit through an oversized mickey mouse cosplayer sing
but i was now disrespected like that
this incident then resulted in a series of messages to my friend including but not limited to
"i wanna bitch slap that smug fuckin rat"
its important to note chuck e cheese is a mouse
expect slow uploads not tht anyone cares
my familys doin their shit again n i rrrrrrrrreally dont wanna get into it because people i know irl read these and i dont want people worrying but finals mixed with depression now mixed with this is 4 sure gonna result n a little less rt for a week or two or a month it depends 
i fuckking swear i see one mention of t*de p*ds on this godforsaken site im gonna scream i hate this meme 2018 was supposed to be the year but im letting a meme about eating detergent pods annoy me so much its just so bad
im so mad im so upset i feel
victimized
like i hate having crushes who the fuck authorized this and this is such a first world problem but also my eternal mood
like listen
i have an awful judgment of character like its the worst i always think everyone has the best intentions which causes me to not expect people to be awful, but then along with that, when i like someone, i really like someone. anyone is even a little nice to me and is cute? i fall so hard its pathetic
so theres This Boy™ whos like really cute and really nice and he is a Scorpio but i feel like i wanna give him a chance
but im literally never ever gonna talk to him but i cant expect him to talk to me and hes just gonna be a distraction to me from everyone else, an excuse to be happy that i never end up pursuing and overall a waste of time because im 
-not cute
-have nothing to offer
-and honestly truly just Too Much™ negativeness for someone that nice to deal with
but like i wanna be confident and take risks in 2018
but fuck i dont even know if this boy has a girlfriend i have talked to him t w i c e
i literally tried typing a word beginning with c and mY phone just assumed i wanted to type out his name im FINISHED
i honestly did not notice how long itd been since id uploaded my life is falling apart
ive been sick for literally the last week, a whole 7 days of illness but still going to school 
i really only went to see the boy i like but he wasnt even there and im so mad
he also didnt follow me back on instagam love it
ive got family stuff all day tomorrow but i need to start drawing more 
cannot believe i used to upload every day who was the girl that did that whered she go
if you are within a 5-meter radius of an elf on the shelf dont interact with me
not even just the brand name elf on the shelf
if your house contains any elves
that happen to be on any shelves 
with your consent for them to be there
i cant trust you